I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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