I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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