We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
