I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
