He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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