Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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