so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
