Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
