Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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