What tipped you off? The sombrero?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
