I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
