Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
