I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
