I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
