You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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