Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
