It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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