I am puke
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize