Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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