No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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