No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
