I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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