i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
