summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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