I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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