all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
