Me too!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
