so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
