maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
