shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
