tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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