The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
