my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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