angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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