My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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