i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.