there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities