His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.