i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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