life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
