Swine flu. Run for my life!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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