I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize