smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
