This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
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whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have aggressive nipples.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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