Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
