She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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