Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize