So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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