I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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