I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize