I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
