Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
