He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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