eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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