I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
