You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Four minutes until I can fart!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
