if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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