we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
