idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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