i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
