Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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