You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize