We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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