billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
