I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
