I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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