Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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